How to Handle a Menopausal Wife

Ever wonder “WTF is Wrong with my Wife?” Does it feel like your pussycat turned into a hellcat in her late forties? Relax, maybe she hasn’t turned into a She-Devil, maybe it’s menopause, or as I call it – MEANoPAUSE!

Recently, I’ve been tweeting quips about life, men, marriage, and menopause. And, a lot of you guys laughed and said “now I know what’s wrong with my wife!” I feel your pain, its challenging to love your wife, when she wants to kill you. Personally, I’ve said so many mean things that I started a hashtag on twitter called #MEANoPAUSE. Basically, it’s use to identify eff’d up comments I say to my husband. Like when he asks “what’s for breakfast” and I respond with “the [insert P-word] that you didn’t eat last night!”

I know its not fair, but every women goes through it and so does every man that’s close to her. But that bit of information doesn’t make it easier to love your wife. If you’re a victim of Meanopause, here’s a few tips that I shared with my husband for dealing with a menopausal wife. (I’m not going to say who.)

1) Be Patient. There is a good chance that you will notice a change in your wife’s behavior before she does. All she might know is that “something doesn’t feel right.”
2) Don’t take it personally. Those mean comments “like eff you and your dog” are probably caused by a change in hormone levels. Its not always your fault.
3) Be Kind. Compliments are always nice and can help defuse a situation.
4) Don’t touch that dial. Ask before you adjust the heat or the air.
5) Learn how to be quiet. If things are going well, don’t mess it up for yourself or us. Avoid upsetting topics. Its impossible for us (women) to be fair and impartial when we’re dealing with someone with a hormonal unbalance.
6) Get an ipod. Tune us out. At least tune out the negative comments and try to focus on the positive ones.
7) Assume its Hormonal. Never ask us if we’re going through “the change” that’s like us asking you if you’re having a midlife crisis.
Be Romantic. Our sex drive changes, some of us want more, some of us want less, being more romantic and possibly more creative can make this an amazingly enjoyable time for both of you – and lubrication helps.
9) Call a gynecologist, read a book, google it. Learn the symptoms so you can help. Encourage her to get a check up but don’t say “You should see a doctor, I think there’s something wrong with you.”

Clearly, I’m not a doctor, but I have a really good one Dr. Lauren Streicher in Chicago, so don’t take what I’m saying as medical advice, its life advice so you guys can survive meanopause.

Lastly, if you’re a man dealing with a meanopause wife, I’m going to share the exact words I shared with my husband. “ Just think of menopause as a small price to pay for enjoying 23 years of good P****y!

See what I mean…. MEANoPAUSE!